The Supreme Court Comedy Club.

Professor Volokh at The Volokh Conspiracy called for submissions of humorous passages from Supreme Court opinions.

Here's what I thought to be one of the better entries (it was nominated more than once). Justice Scalia famously wrote:

"To assert that unhesitant and categorical identification by four witnesses who viewed the killer, close-up and with the sun high in the sky, would not eliminate reasonable doubt if it were based only on facial characteristics, and not on height and build, is quite simply absurd. Facial features are the primary means by which human beings recognize one another. That is why police departments distribute 'mug' shots of wanted felons, rather than Ivy-League-type posture pictures; it is why bank robbers wear stockings over their faces instead of floor-length capes over their shoulders; it is why the Lone Ranger wears a mask instead of a poncho; and it is why a criminal defense lawyer who seeks to destroy an identifying witness by asking 'You admit that you saw only the killer's face?' will be laughed out of the courtroom."

(Kyles v. Whitley, 514 U.S. 419, 466-67 (1995) (J. Scalia, dissenting.)